Sunday, 14 June 2020
Click for online meetings
We're moving most of our time together throughout the week online. If you're interested in times of Bible reading, prayer, or just having supper with the church family, then we have you covered. If you look below then you'll see our updated schedule.
If you want to join us for our time together then simply click HERE to join. You will find the password for each meeting on this post.
Tuesday 6:00 PM (Dinner together)
Wednesday 1:00 PM (Prayer Time)
Thursday 8:00 PM (Bible Study)
Thursday, 4 June 2020
Amos 7:1-17
If you've spent enouhg time in the Old Testament you might recognize the pattern. "Repent and turn back to me, or be destroyed." Then the people either turn back and repent... or not, and the consawuences happen. This is to be expected in a collection of writings dedicated to the expereince of divinity meeting humanity. So when that pattern is broken, it becomes noteworthy.
Amos 7 begins with a strange collection. Two different judgments, one by locusts and another by fire, that God has decided to bring upon his people. But then the prophet appeals to God on their behalf. There is no preaching, there is no call to repentance, and there is no repentance to speak of, but on both occations God decides to relent his judgement. It is a pure case of mercy and grace for his people.
This is not so strange a thing really to find in scripture, It's just noteworthy as I said, and there's a few important things here. One is around the idea of God's patience, another around his sense of mercy and grace. But what I want to focus on is the sense of intercession.
It seems to me in the modern church taht there is a hesitancy towards intercession. I think this is partically because people simply don't want to devote the time/mental energy to intercession. I also think that there are some ideas aroud the sovereignty of God. "God will do whatever he wants, so why should we want to try and change his mind?" But this is the kicker, most of the heroes of the Bible believed that God could change his mind, and that they would have a hand in that. This would include Abraham, Amos (of course), David, and even Jesus himself.
The Bible gives a clear idea around the idea of intercession. God wants an interactive relationship. Dispite his soveregnty, he wants a relationship where we may very well have an affect on his decidsions, at least this is how scripture reveals that relatonship. It's all through the Bible. So the uncomfortable question is... why does it seem so lacking today?
I think the answer is what's uncomfortable. Christians to pray for intercession because they don't really believe that it will work. Sure, we'll pray for things that are easy to write off if it doesn't work. We intercede for abstract things. Mostly, I think that we try to word our prayers in a way that can protect our own dissapointment if nothing changes. But when was the last time you heard someone pray in a way where you could tell, "they really expect that this act is going to change things."
I for one, don't quite get the point of this whole faith thing if we don't beleive in relational prayer that expects it to make a difference. I'm looking forward to seeing how others feel.
For Discusion:
1) Read the visions. What stands out about Amos's intercession? How do you try to "Defend your prayers," in case it doesn't work?
2) What is your understanding of the plumb line? What is it's purpose?
3) The second half of Amos 7 seems to give us the first sense of narrative in the whole book. What does this story show you of Amos' experience? Why would he include this?
Amos 7 begins with a strange collection. Two different judgments, one by locusts and another by fire, that God has decided to bring upon his people. But then the prophet appeals to God on their behalf. There is no preaching, there is no call to repentance, and there is no repentance to speak of, but on both occations God decides to relent his judgement. It is a pure case of mercy and grace for his people.
This is not so strange a thing really to find in scripture, It's just noteworthy as I said, and there's a few important things here. One is around the idea of God's patience, another around his sense of mercy and grace. But what I want to focus on is the sense of intercession.
It seems to me in the modern church taht there is a hesitancy towards intercession. I think this is partically because people simply don't want to devote the time/mental energy to intercession. I also think that there are some ideas aroud the sovereignty of God. "God will do whatever he wants, so why should we want to try and change his mind?" But this is the kicker, most of the heroes of the Bible believed that God could change his mind, and that they would have a hand in that. This would include Abraham, Amos (of course), David, and even Jesus himself.
The Bible gives a clear idea around the idea of intercession. God wants an interactive relationship. Dispite his soveregnty, he wants a relationship where we may very well have an affect on his decidsions, at least this is how scripture reveals that relatonship. It's all through the Bible. So the uncomfortable question is... why does it seem so lacking today?
I think the answer is what's uncomfortable. Christians to pray for intercession because they don't really believe that it will work. Sure, we'll pray for things that are easy to write off if it doesn't work. We intercede for abstract things. Mostly, I think that we try to word our prayers in a way that can protect our own dissapointment if nothing changes. But when was the last time you heard someone pray in a way where you could tell, "they really expect that this act is going to change things."
I for one, don't quite get the point of this whole faith thing if we don't beleive in relational prayer that expects it to make a difference. I'm looking forward to seeing how others feel.
For Discusion:
1) Read the visions. What stands out about Amos's intercession? How do you try to "Defend your prayers," in case it doesn't work?
2) What is your understanding of the plumb line? What is it's purpose?
3) The second half of Amos 7 seems to give us the first sense of narrative in the whole book. What does this story show you of Amos' experience? Why would he include this?
Thursday, 21 May 2020
Amos 5:18-27
If you've been following along with this study, then you might be feeling like I am. "Ok, I get it. Injustice bad, and false worship bad. How can you make nine chapters out of this." And while it is definitely true that this book does seem to run on and make the smae points over and over again, it is also true that when speaking to people who fundamentally believe themselves to be innicent of these things, repetition is a bit of a neccessity. It's only after enough examples that someone listening might say to themselves... "Wait, is he talking about us?"
You might think this is a ridiculous part of human nature, and this is true. But it is something that I'v seen countless times. Personally I have taken to this particular line in many different sermons over the years, "You might be thinking to yourself right now, 'yeah he's right. Other people do need to change on this.' But no, I'm talking about you, you need to change with this."
So it's about this part of the book that I think it becomes more and more apoarent. Amos is speaking ot the reader, he's speaking to us. YOU HAVE A PROBLEM! We talk about this book as a message that was spoken to a particular people. This is true. But it was also written down, adn things that are written down are meant to last. Amos likely never thought that his words would be talked about by a group of people in another language thousands of years later, (Ok, he definitely didn't expect that), but he did know that this was meant for people he didn't know, and would never meet.
I have yet to meet Amos. So in this passage it's hard, but we have to look at these familiar ideas and remember that this is still important. There are important ideas here.
And the biggest idea is, again, the relationship between ethics and worship. This passage contains some of the most famous lines about rejecton of worship. God hates, despises, and cannot stand... their worship? If you were to compse a list of all the things the Bible says God hates it could be extensive. But would you really think of worship as one of your top three? And yet the reasons given in this passage are simple. The worship of the worshipper is rejected because their ethics are incompatible.
And this is where I had to stop. Is this repeated? Becasue I was struck with the feeling that this direct connection hasn't been brought up before. Not directly. We've talked a lot about the heart of the worshipper, or the intent of thier worship. But thier ethics, diretly? And I think that this has the most important implications for the christian fatih. Namely, can our concious ethical failures turn our worship into a hateful excercise?
I think yes. I think that the idea that we can worship, praise, and thank God while living a life that is disastrous to ourselves and others is impossible to stand. I think that choosing evil while praising a God of love is too contradictory to happen. But what does this mean of grace? Very little I think.
Sometimes I feel like Amos. I can look at the church around the world and I know that the worship that is happening here or there is destructive. I don't think this because of the style, and I don't think this because of the theological issues. I believe this is true because the church allows injustice to stand, it allows evil to reign.
Think about it this way. We do not worship dispite our evil hearts. We worship by standing against the evil in our own hearts. I think that truly accepting this, would create a lot of change in the world.
For discussion: Read Amos 5:18-27
1) What do you think is meant by the Day of the Lord? Is this comforting, or is it frieghtening?
2) Bonus: Do you think that modern Christian Eschatology is escapism?
3) What examples have you seen of ethical dilema's hindering worship? Do you think any person is able to judge this for themselves?
4) What is the greatest ehtical issue in the way of proper worship today? How?
You might think this is a ridiculous part of human nature, and this is true. But it is something that I'v seen countless times. Personally I have taken to this particular line in many different sermons over the years, "You might be thinking to yourself right now, 'yeah he's right. Other people do need to change on this.' But no, I'm talking about you, you need to change with this."
So it's about this part of the book that I think it becomes more and more apoarent. Amos is speaking ot the reader, he's speaking to us. YOU HAVE A PROBLEM! We talk about this book as a message that was spoken to a particular people. This is true. But it was also written down, adn things that are written down are meant to last. Amos likely never thought that his words would be talked about by a group of people in another language thousands of years later, (Ok, he definitely didn't expect that), but he did know that this was meant for people he didn't know, and would never meet.
I have yet to meet Amos. So in this passage it's hard, but we have to look at these familiar ideas and remember that this is still important. There are important ideas here.
And the biggest idea is, again, the relationship between ethics and worship. This passage contains some of the most famous lines about rejecton of worship. God hates, despises, and cannot stand... their worship? If you were to compse a list of all the things the Bible says God hates it could be extensive. But would you really think of worship as one of your top three? And yet the reasons given in this passage are simple. The worship of the worshipper is rejected because their ethics are incompatible.
And this is where I had to stop. Is this repeated? Becasue I was struck with the feeling that this direct connection hasn't been brought up before. Not directly. We've talked a lot about the heart of the worshipper, or the intent of thier worship. But thier ethics, diretly? And I think that this has the most important implications for the christian fatih. Namely, can our concious ethical failures turn our worship into a hateful excercise?
I think yes. I think that the idea that we can worship, praise, and thank God while living a life that is disastrous to ourselves and others is impossible to stand. I think that choosing evil while praising a God of love is too contradictory to happen. But what does this mean of grace? Very little I think.
Sometimes I feel like Amos. I can look at the church around the world and I know that the worship that is happening here or there is destructive. I don't think this because of the style, and I don't think this because of the theological issues. I believe this is true because the church allows injustice to stand, it allows evil to reign.
Think about it this way. We do not worship dispite our evil hearts. We worship by standing against the evil in our own hearts. I think that truly accepting this, would create a lot of change in the world.
For discussion: Read Amos 5:18-27
1) What do you think is meant by the Day of the Lord? Is this comforting, or is it frieghtening?
2) Bonus: Do you think that modern Christian Eschatology is escapism?
3) What examples have you seen of ethical dilema's hindering worship? Do you think any person is able to judge this for themselves?
4) What is the greatest ehtical issue in the way of proper worship today? How?
Thursday, 14 May 2020
Amos 5:1-17
The theme of Lament is an important one in the Bible. This makes sense when you think about it. Experiences and tragedies that bring people to lament their circumstance is an integral part of the human experience. The writers of scripture lament all through it's writings including the Psalms especially. But there's even a book called "Lamentations."
In many ways we have lost this practice in the modern experience. Much of the Christians world has put on a bit of a face. We want people to know how joyous and happy our faith has made us, so we speak about our faith as if everything in our lives is better and happier beause of it. Some (we might all know a person like this) seems to just burst with bubbly giddiness all the time be cause the Bible tells them to be joyous.
And there is an aspect of joy to faith and spirituality. However, to hyper-focus on the joyous natures of faith is beyond misleading into the realm of dishonesty. We all feel sadness and loss in life, and to ignore the anger, even hatred, that can come from these experiences is disingenuous to say the least. If we are to decalare our joy in faith, then it makes sense to declare out lament in faith as well. The realities of life and spirituality demand it. This is why it's so common in scripture.
So far the book of Amos is filled with all sorts of great imagery about the injustice and evil's of the nation. Amos speaks to a people boldly, sarcastically, and almost contemtuously at times to those who live in comfort on the backs of the poor. Heere though, in 5:1-17, we get Amos lamenting the disasters that are coming. This seems natural. even when we see the injustices of the world we may lament the evils that have been caused, and the catasstrafies that bring this justice.
This passage is a Lament of sorts. It is formed in a Chiasm. The passage begins and ends with lament wirting, but between them is a calling to seek God and justice. In the middle of all this is a hymn of praise to God declaring his power over all things. There is a wonderful point here. In the middle of our lament, God's glory still reigns.
We live in a time where many beleive that God is only in the positive. God gives us good things and protects us from bad things. But this misses one of the central truths of scripture. God is in the midst of all of our situations. It is only up to us to come to him with all of our feelings whether they be joy or anger, peace or hatred. God is bg enough to take it all.
For Discussion:
1) What are you lamenting the most right now? Describe your feelings. Do you feel confident to bring all those feelings to God.
2) The improper worship led to the temples being unsafe for the Israelites to find refuge. Christian places of worship have been destroyed throughout history. How do you "rely on the temple?"
3) This hymn shows the power of inversion. How is the decription of God's power to reverse things relevant?
In many ways we have lost this practice in the modern experience. Much of the Christians world has put on a bit of a face. We want people to know how joyous and happy our faith has made us, so we speak about our faith as if everything in our lives is better and happier beause of it. Some (we might all know a person like this) seems to just burst with bubbly giddiness all the time be cause the Bible tells them to be joyous.
And there is an aspect of joy to faith and spirituality. However, to hyper-focus on the joyous natures of faith is beyond misleading into the realm of dishonesty. We all feel sadness and loss in life, and to ignore the anger, even hatred, that can come from these experiences is disingenuous to say the least. If we are to decalare our joy in faith, then it makes sense to declare out lament in faith as well. The realities of life and spirituality demand it. This is why it's so common in scripture.
So far the book of Amos is filled with all sorts of great imagery about the injustice and evil's of the nation. Amos speaks to a people boldly, sarcastically, and almost contemtuously at times to those who live in comfort on the backs of the poor. Heere though, in 5:1-17, we get Amos lamenting the disasters that are coming. This seems natural. even when we see the injustices of the world we may lament the evils that have been caused, and the catasstrafies that bring this justice.
This passage is a Lament of sorts. It is formed in a Chiasm. The passage begins and ends with lament wirting, but between them is a calling to seek God and justice. In the middle of all this is a hymn of praise to God declaring his power over all things. There is a wonderful point here. In the middle of our lament, God's glory still reigns.
We live in a time where many beleive that God is only in the positive. God gives us good things and protects us from bad things. But this misses one of the central truths of scripture. God is in the midst of all of our situations. It is only up to us to come to him with all of our feelings whether they be joy or anger, peace or hatred. God is bg enough to take it all.
For Discussion:
1) What are you lamenting the most right now? Describe your feelings. Do you feel confident to bring all those feelings to God.
2) The improper worship led to the temples being unsafe for the Israelites to find refuge. Christian places of worship have been destroyed throughout history. How do you "rely on the temple?"
3) This hymn shows the power of inversion. How is the decription of God's power to reverse things relevant?
Friday, 8 May 2020
Click HERE for all online meetings.
We're moving most of our time together throughout the week online. If you're interested in times of Bible reading, prayer, or just having supper with the church family, then we have you covered. If you look below then you'll see our updated schedule.
If you want to join us for our time together then simply click HERE to join. You will find the password for each meeting on this post.
Tuesday 6:00 PM (Dinner together)
Wednesday 1:00 PM (Prayer Time)
Thursday 8:00 PM (Bible Study)
Wednesday, 29 April 2020
Amos - 4:4-13
Let's say someone approached you and said that your place of worship was sinful, and would be destroyed by God. If you don't have a place of worship, then imagine your favorite charity or non-profit. The point is the same. This thing that you believe is special, and holy, and set-apart, is somehow seen as evil enough to deserve God's judgement? How would you react? What would you say?
It's reasonable to think that you might want to defend your organization. You might talk about all the different programs you run for the poor. You might tell stories of people who have found community. You might talk about the long history of your organization, and how you have always pshed through the hard times togther. This would be a reasonable way to defend yourself. Except there's one problem. It doesn't make sense?
If someone is accused of murder, it is commonly thought that with a horde of "good character wittnesses," one can be able to find freedom. This is absurd. It is well known that no amound of good work should free someone from justice for any attrocities they have committed.
Amos 4:4-5 is a powerful passage. After laying out the oppression and injustice that God's people have been involved with, Amos has a mock call-to-wroship filled with sarcasm. He makes it clear that while his people have been living oppressive lives, their worship has been unacceptable. At it's base is the connection between worship and behavior. Worship is done by the heart and, apparently, acceptable heart-filled worship is not possible while opressing and subdjigating others.
Amos derides the people for bringing their sacrifices to the temple every day, and special tythes every three days. This is interesting since these particular sacrifices were only required annually, or every three years. The people have increased their sacrificing hundreds of times over, and yet God is not pleased with it. He is still appalled by their lack of compassion and mercy.
This is directly transferable to the present day. No amount of giving, tithing, volunteering, conversing, hosting, fasting or any other spiritual act can make our worship to God more favorable when we are actively and intentionally participating in the oppression of others.
The rest of this section is filled with a series of judgements. To the modern reader it sounds like a wrathful God, uncaring to people and selfish, bringing disaster and famine to the people of earth. But what I see here is the declaration of people not returning to their God amid disaster. However you feel about the Old Testament, and no matter what interpretive model you use, the people of this time believed that God would bring disaster in order to show his power, and bring people back to him. But these people refused to see him, even within tragedy.
I think that there is a deeper lesson here. When we refuse to see God in what is happening in the world around us, then we are refusing to see God. I don't know if God intentionally brings disaster for special purpose. But if I refuse to wrestle with those issues, then I refuse to look for God. If I say to myself, "I don't believe God would do this," and never look for God in disaster, then I am refusing God's place and power in the most significant points of history.
I beleve that these two ideas are connected. If we want out lives to look like real acceptable worship, then we are going to need to look for God in all the negative and tragic things of the world. We are going to have to struggle with the issue that God is within disaster, not to reconcile why he might do it, but at least to struggle with God's power and qualities within it.
For discussion:
1) The Old Testament makes it clear that sacrifices are not what God is after, but he did demand sacrifices. What does God want? What is true worship?
2) How do you struggle with God within disaster and suffering? What do you beleive about God's involvement in disaster? Do you think that what you believe matters? Why or why not?
3) What is the connection between worship and disaster?
It's reasonable to think that you might want to defend your organization. You might talk about all the different programs you run for the poor. You might tell stories of people who have found community. You might talk about the long history of your organization, and how you have always pshed through the hard times togther. This would be a reasonable way to defend yourself. Except there's one problem. It doesn't make sense?
If someone is accused of murder, it is commonly thought that with a horde of "good character wittnesses," one can be able to find freedom. This is absurd. It is well known that no amound of good work should free someone from justice for any attrocities they have committed.
Amos 4:4-5 is a powerful passage. After laying out the oppression and injustice that God's people have been involved with, Amos has a mock call-to-wroship filled with sarcasm. He makes it clear that while his people have been living oppressive lives, their worship has been unacceptable. At it's base is the connection between worship and behavior. Worship is done by the heart and, apparently, acceptable heart-filled worship is not possible while opressing and subdjigating others.
Amos derides the people for bringing their sacrifices to the temple every day, and special tythes every three days. This is interesting since these particular sacrifices were only required annually, or every three years. The people have increased their sacrificing hundreds of times over, and yet God is not pleased with it. He is still appalled by their lack of compassion and mercy.
This is directly transferable to the present day. No amount of giving, tithing, volunteering, conversing, hosting, fasting or any other spiritual act can make our worship to God more favorable when we are actively and intentionally participating in the oppression of others.
The rest of this section is filled with a series of judgements. To the modern reader it sounds like a wrathful God, uncaring to people and selfish, bringing disaster and famine to the people of earth. But what I see here is the declaration of people not returning to their God amid disaster. However you feel about the Old Testament, and no matter what interpretive model you use, the people of this time believed that God would bring disaster in order to show his power, and bring people back to him. But these people refused to see him, even within tragedy.
I think that there is a deeper lesson here. When we refuse to see God in what is happening in the world around us, then we are refusing to see God. I don't know if God intentionally brings disaster for special purpose. But if I refuse to wrestle with those issues, then I refuse to look for God. If I say to myself, "I don't believe God would do this," and never look for God in disaster, then I am refusing God's place and power in the most significant points of history.
I beleve that these two ideas are connected. If we want out lives to look like real acceptable worship, then we are going to need to look for God in all the negative and tragic things of the world. We are going to have to struggle with the issue that God is within disaster, not to reconcile why he might do it, but at least to struggle with God's power and qualities within it.
For discussion:
1) The Old Testament makes it clear that sacrifices are not what God is after, but he did demand sacrifices. What does God want? What is true worship?
2) How do you struggle with God within disaster and suffering? What do you beleive about God's involvement in disaster? Do you think that what you believe matters? Why or why not?
3) What is the connection between worship and disaster?
Monday, 20 April 2020
Pandemic Dangers - How do we talk about disinformation?
The middle ages had all the best monseters. They seemed to always come up with the best kinds of
hybrids of different animals and man. Terrible monstrosties that just ooze death and fear. And that's what they were about. People all throughout history have always tried to take the intangible fears of everyday life and create an image for it. If it's not 'the dark' that we're afraid of, but some destructive monstrosity, then we have something tangible to strike back at. It feels better to fear something tangible rather than intangible.
And so we come to today. It turns out that people haven't really changed all that much over the last many thousands of years. We have more gadgets now, and a more 'modern' understanding of the universe, but we still deal with the primal things of life in the same way. We still deal with fear and anxiety much the same way. We create tangible realities to take the brunt of our fear, anger and hatred. We make the intangible, tangible.
And so comes today. Do you wonder why we have a rampant spread of false information in a society like ours? Why in a crisis live Coronovirus is false information so prevelant? Well, we can't be angry of a virus. You can't really be afraid of something mocroscopic, no matter how many times the picture is shown. A sickness is intangible. We would rather have something tangible for this to be all about. We want a person, a nation, a corporation, an organization to be responsible for what's happening how. We could understand this better if what we're going through is the opportunism of some during the crisis. Anything to make the intangible, tangible.
And so we have the roots, and the spreadable nature of false information.
So what do you do? You who are intelligent, educated and well informed? You go to correct all of these problems. You scour and find all the best info, and relentlessly (if loveingly) attack those who spread rumor and falsehood. Does it work? Of course it doesn't work, but you've done your part.
But I know why it doesn't work. Because if you prove to someone that the cyclops doesn't exist, they'll still fear the dark. Dealing with all the false information that spreads is dealing with the symptoms and never the sickness. Chances are you have a loved one, a friend, a coleague or someone else you care about who has spread false information. Is it your desire that you be right, or is it your desire that they be made well?
Here's what we miss. All their feelings, fears, anxieties, and struggles are real. What we often do when confronted with false information is tear it apart. We show them all the reasons why are wrong, why they are misled. But here's the kicker, no matter how true, or well placed your arguments are, there is no way to convince them that their feelings are not real. Because their feelings are real. They know this as an indisputable fact. Everyone knows that their feelings are real, and that is always an indisputalbe fact. People feel what they feel, and no matter what that is all they know to be really true.
"Monsters aren't real," we tell our children as they go to bed. But do any of us doubt that the child's fear of sleeping ina dark room on their own isn't real? No, we would never doubt that. So when someone shares false information, misleading information, and we say, "this isn't true." Well, some of it is true. Their feelings are true.
No matter how lovingly, or reasonably, we engage someone with their false information they know that what they feel is true. What can happen is that you inevitably become another voice in their head telling them, "your feelings are invalid." Just think about that. If you're attending a wedding for a dear friend and someone told you, "you're not happy," would you believe them? If you just recieved word that a family member has passed and someone told you, "you're not sad," would you trust it?
The feelings we feel are often the most indesputable facts of our experience. It is no different when someone tells us, "you are not actually afraid," or "you are not actually angry," we would never believe that. And this is exactly how it comes accross when we come into a conversation telling someone that their beliefs (if belief it truly is) is invalid, or untrue.
So when we're dealing with disinformation from a loved one or a friend, the fist thing we need to deal with is the feeling. And I know this seems conterintuitive, but dealing with the facts presented is getting right into the symptom, not the sickness. We need to find the sickness which is in the indisputable feelings being felt. Are they afraid? Are they scared? Are they lonely? The feeling that is motivating the spread of false information is what needs to be dealt with. They don't need to be told that they're wrong, (invalidating the feeling), they need to recieve comfort and companionship that deals with the feelings.
By far the best way to deal with feelings is through empathy:
- "I'm worried about my parents getting sick too."
- "I'm also scared about the future of our kid's education."
- "I'm also worried about goverment overreach."
- "I'm scared that other nations will try and take advantage of this."
- (Help me out here, there's so many examples).
There will always be a feeling behind the sharing of false information. If there were no feelings, then they wouldn't be motivated enough to share it. It can sometimes be easy, and sometimes more difficult, but with love and conversation one could determine what the root feelings are behind the information. There's a good chance you're feeling it too. Make that known. Leave facts for later if they're neccessary. Probably they won't be. But sharing your own feelings and worries with the others is getting towards the things that really matter.
The second part is to share story. What is your story with these feelings? Why do you feel this way? What makes you feel better? What stories have you heard? Maybe this is the time to bring up those things you know, maybe not. And it definitely isn't time to turn it into a debate. But remember that story is what's powerful, not facts and statistics.
In the end it probaly doesn't matter if this one loved one has all the facts right. It rarely does. But hopefully these strategies will help us all lead each other to live more fulfilling lives. It will be far more beneficial to them, and yourself, to properly and communally deal with the feelings that this crisis is creating. Let's deal with the core rather than the symptoms. That, in the end, would be a far better outcome.
Note: If you don't know the person then these strategies problably won't work. Best piece of advice, don't get involved. ;) You might think that you can change their minds... you won't.
And so we come to today. It turns out that people haven't really changed all that much over the last many thousands of years. We have more gadgets now, and a more 'modern' understanding of the universe, but we still deal with the primal things of life in the same way. We still deal with fear and anxiety much the same way. We create tangible realities to take the brunt of our fear, anger and hatred. We make the intangible, tangible.
And so comes today. Do you wonder why we have a rampant spread of false information in a society like ours? Why in a crisis live Coronovirus is false information so prevelant? Well, we can't be angry of a virus. You can't really be afraid of something mocroscopic, no matter how many times the picture is shown. A sickness is intangible. We would rather have something tangible for this to be all about. We want a person, a nation, a corporation, an organization to be responsible for what's happening how. We could understand this better if what we're going through is the opportunism of some during the crisis. Anything to make the intangible, tangible.
And so we have the roots, and the spreadable nature of false information.
So what do you do? You who are intelligent, educated and well informed? You go to correct all of these problems. You scour and find all the best info, and relentlessly (if loveingly) attack those who spread rumor and falsehood. Does it work? Of course it doesn't work, but you've done your part.
But I know why it doesn't work. Because if you prove to someone that the cyclops doesn't exist, they'll still fear the dark. Dealing with all the false information that spreads is dealing with the symptoms and never the sickness. Chances are you have a loved one, a friend, a coleague or someone else you care about who has spread false information. Is it your desire that you be right, or is it your desire that they be made well?
Here's what we miss. All their feelings, fears, anxieties, and struggles are real. What we often do when confronted with false information is tear it apart. We show them all the reasons why are wrong, why they are misled. But here's the kicker, no matter how true, or well placed your arguments are, there is no way to convince them that their feelings are not real. Because their feelings are real. They know this as an indisputable fact. Everyone knows that their feelings are real, and that is always an indisputalbe fact. People feel what they feel, and no matter what that is all they know to be really true.
"Monsters aren't real," we tell our children as they go to bed. But do any of us doubt that the child's fear of sleeping ina dark room on their own isn't real? No, we would never doubt that. So when someone shares false information, misleading information, and we say, "this isn't true." Well, some of it is true. Their feelings are true.
No matter how lovingly, or reasonably, we engage someone with their false information they know that what they feel is true. What can happen is that you inevitably become another voice in their head telling them, "your feelings are invalid." Just think about that. If you're attending a wedding for a dear friend and someone told you, "you're not happy," would you believe them? If you just recieved word that a family member has passed and someone told you, "you're not sad," would you trust it?
The feelings we feel are often the most indesputable facts of our experience. It is no different when someone tells us, "you are not actually afraid," or "you are not actually angry," we would never believe that. And this is exactly how it comes accross when we come into a conversation telling someone that their beliefs (if belief it truly is) is invalid, or untrue.
So when we're dealing with disinformation from a loved one or a friend, the fist thing we need to deal with is the feeling. And I know this seems conterintuitive, but dealing with the facts presented is getting right into the symptom, not the sickness. We need to find the sickness which is in the indisputable feelings being felt. Are they afraid? Are they scared? Are they lonely? The feeling that is motivating the spread of false information is what needs to be dealt with. They don't need to be told that they're wrong, (invalidating the feeling), they need to recieve comfort and companionship that deals with the feelings.
By far the best way to deal with feelings is through empathy:
- "I'm worried about my parents getting sick too."
- "I'm also scared about the future of our kid's education."
- "I'm also worried about goverment overreach."
- "I'm scared that other nations will try and take advantage of this."
- (Help me out here, there's so many examples).
There will always be a feeling behind the sharing of false information. If there were no feelings, then they wouldn't be motivated enough to share it. It can sometimes be easy, and sometimes more difficult, but with love and conversation one could determine what the root feelings are behind the information. There's a good chance you're feeling it too. Make that known. Leave facts for later if they're neccessary. Probably they won't be. But sharing your own feelings and worries with the others is getting towards the things that really matter.
The second part is to share story. What is your story with these feelings? Why do you feel this way? What makes you feel better? What stories have you heard? Maybe this is the time to bring up those things you know, maybe not. And it definitely isn't time to turn it into a debate. But remember that story is what's powerful, not facts and statistics.
In the end it probaly doesn't matter if this one loved one has all the facts right. It rarely does. But hopefully these strategies will help us all lead each other to live more fulfilling lives. It will be far more beneficial to them, and yourself, to properly and communally deal with the feelings that this crisis is creating. Let's deal with the core rather than the symptoms. That, in the end, would be a far better outcome.
Note: If you don't know the person then these strategies problably won't work. Best piece of advice, don't get involved. ;) You might think that you can change their minds... you won't.
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